Kitchener Ride 3rd August 2023

 The Road to Kitchener...and Beyond

The standard bunch of bedraggled riders turned out. About 20 of them, including some more people called Peter who only turn up occasionally. It was a beautiful day and even Dascolopoulos, a guest who’d been away lighting fires in Greece, was there. The birds chirped and the landscape was bathed in glorious sunshine. We had a virgin (I think that’s the way you put it?) whose name, like yours, I immediately forgot. We gave him the clap. Peter, you know the one, following the Kitchener theme of the ride (“Your Country Needs You”) kindly volunteered, again, as TEC.

 

Off we went, finding as many twists and turns as we could, ever obedient to the rules of the road. It was very pleasant, if nothing else because the light, dappling brilliantly through the trees was so good and the spirits so lifted. There wasn’t a nuclear war, or hell, or damnation, in sight. We stopped at Jerry’s Café at Kulnara, for morning coffee which we had with some Portuguese tarts called Maria. Sated, off we went via Wollombi maintaining a steady, relentless pace in perfect formation except for a few of the Peters.

 

And in due course, lo and behold, we were at Kitchener. What fun!

 

I suppose I should stop writing now. You’ve had your report. But one reflects on “Kitchener”. Why are we there? Why is it where it is?

 

Coal mining, since 1914, is why. That it doesn’t have a nice tuneful Welsh name, like all those other little coal villages in the area, or perhaps more consistent with the times, an indigenous aboriginal name, is beyond me?

 

Kitchener, this little pimple on the underbelly of Cessnock was named after Herbert Horatio Kitchener, the 1^st Earl Kitchener (b.24^th June, 1850, d.5^th June, 1916). Lord Kitchener. An Irishmen of a particular class most Irish hate and a military man of some significance in his day. He is infamous for his role in the invention of the concentration camp in the Boer War. 26,000 women and children died in these camps and Hitler is said to have been greatly obliged for Kitchener’s proof of concept.

 

An ANZAC link is established through Kitchener. Winston Churchill, at the time First Lord of the Admiralty, is sometimes regarded as author of the Gallipoli disaster. Astute reading of Churchill’s biographies however establishes that Kitchener, then British Secretary of War, countermanded Churchill’s bold plan to drive warships up the Bosphorus and split the Turks from the Germans. Kitchener instead insisted on a sea invasion of the Gallipoli peninsula. It didn’t work all that well, as we know. Ataturk was undoubtedly smarter than Kitchener. At least it has left us with a joyful legacy of brothers-in-arms, where we permit the Kiwi’s to enter our country free of charge and to beat us at rugby with depressing frequency. Thus Kitchener, the village, has something to recommend it.  

 

Anyway, along with the ANZACs,  any surviving Boers, the reputation of Churchill and most of the British army past and present, you’ll be pleased to know that Kitchener drowned in 1916. He was aboard HMS Hampshire which struck a German mine on a voyage to Russia.

 

Having prepared a paper to present to Kitchener, the village, with a suggestion it change its name, that well known Think Tank, the Thursday Riders Institute for International and Australian Affairs (TRIIAA) meeting under the lovely trees of Kitchener Park, came to a few conclusions on current matters before the World. You may be interested?

 

For one thing the referendum on The Voice is a dead rubber. It won’t get up. Tony, in particular, was shocked, hurt and distressed throughout this discussion. As a result, he has put another three “Yes” stickers on his bike, confident that will turn the rising tide of negativity.

 

TRIAAA carefully examined the issues around Donald J Trump, self-proposed future dictator of the United States. Consensus was that notwithstanding the odd legal impediment here and there, he will be elected in the 2024 US election. He will then pardon himself, which of course is a good reason to get elected. A pretty boy with nice hair, even if a bit aged, would not have a good time in prison. There was broad, if not overwhelming agreement that once in power, Trump would throw Ukraine under the bus, and end the war there in a day per his election promise. A big chunk of Ukraine will become Russian and a continuing source of irritation to the World, including Russia. Putin has certain pictures of Trump and some power over him.

 

The ongoing consequence will be the USA will split from Europe. Europe, with Germany ever keen to sell motor cars and chemicals, will “pivot”, to use the current term, to China. China will feel empowered, notwithstanding it is in decline because of an aging population and the constricts of authoritarian rule, and will move, in 2026, to consolidate Taiwan to its bosom. India will undergo détente with China. The Quad is dead; long live the Quad. Aukus will fall over and Australia will buy Japanese submarines by 2042.

 

We concluded our discussions to the cheerful chortle of the local magpies and pleased with ourselves that we could provide the World with good, solid analysis and solutions.

 

Motorcycling is such fun. Even TEC Peter was happy and felt appreciated since we lost no-one, neither down the mine shaft or to history.  Thank you Peter.

 

Best regards

Stephen Davies.